My word for this year is LEARN.
So it just makes sense to use this Year of Sundays to reflect on 52 of my most significant Life Lessons. Some may seem more significant than others, but each one has changed how I live my life in powerful way. I’d love to hear if and how any of these same lessons have surfaced in the classroom of Your Life.
Everyone needs someone to bear witness to her/his life.
I’ve lost count of how many times THIS lesson has slapped me in the face. Most recently it happened when I was with nine-year-old Kenna (her given name is McKenna, but she prefers Kenna~ so I honor that), one of my great nieces.
While Kenna was helping me make breakfast, I asked her to tell me about her best friends. She delighted in listing names and descriptions. After mentioning one of the gals, she said, “I was invisible to her until this year. Now she sees me. I’m not invisible to her anymore.”
I stopped and took her gently by the shoulders ~ looked her in the eyes and said, ” I hope you never feel invisible again.”
She smiled all the way up into her eyes and said, “Thanks, Aunt Lisa. Me too.”
Years ago, a friend told me about an African greeting custom. When one person joins another he/she says, “I am here.” The other person responds, “I see you.”
Who doesn’t want THAT?
I thought I was asking this sweet child a pretty basic and safe question. She answered with down-to-her-toenails- gut-level-honesty. She now feels SEEN. And I’ll be forever grateful. Even if she and I never discuss that breakfast conversation again, I know we’ll both remember.
It was and is holy.
Can I get a witness?
Lisa’s Cheap Therapy blog 
To use last year’s focus……wOw!!!!!!!
Reading your post just now, I realized that I felt invisible for years in my marriage and to my children. Yes, my ex-husband and my two children knew I was there, but I was invisible to them…..and I allowed it.
I was the maid, chauffeur, nurse, seamstress, personal shopper, and chef…… but it was not until this past year, when I became visible to my “special someone” that I became visible to myself for the first time in years. And as a result, I became visible to my children as well. (I doubt I will ever be visible to the ex…..).
Becoming visible to myself was an interesting journey and one I’m glad I am finally traveling. It has been a rather tough journey for my children. My daughter appears to be accepting it and moving on the journey with me. In the process, she is making sure she is visible in her own life.
My son is having a very difficult time with it. In many was, I think he wishes I was invisible still; working to meet his every want and need. As a matter of fact, he is not speaking to me currently because at 22.5 years old and having made the decision to leave college after 5.5 years without earning his degree, I have told him he is to be responsible for his own bills; I will no longer be paying them. He finds this extremely offensive. After reading your blog post today, I realize not only have I finally become visible to him, he has become visible to himself, and he doesn’t like what he sees. I have every faith and confidence in him that he will grow into a productive citizen and good provider, but I’m not sure he has that confidence in himself yet.
Growing up. maturing, and becoming visible isn’t always easy…. and like you told Kenna….. I hope neither of my children or I ever feel that way again!!!
AMEN….. and thanks for sharing your lesson and making me think this morning!! 🙂
On the other hand, I have sometimes been the most productive as a parent, as a chaplain, as a minister when I have been able to become invisible. Invisible, at least from my identity as an authority figure, and allowed to be just a human being.
I’m here. i see you.
Reblogged this on Trinity Center and commented:
We re-blogging this post from a life long friend Lisa Richey. Read and enjoy! 🙂
Judi & Gary, may we all find (and honor others in their finding) our own ‘visibility balance’ ;);
Amma/Robin, i see you, too :);
LOUD cheers and THANKS to Trinity Center for sharing this post! if those of you reading haven’t yet discovered this sacred place, hope you’ll soon visit them online and in person!