My word for this year is LEARN.
So it just makes sense to use this Year of Sundays to reflect on 52 of my most significant Life Lessons. Some may seem more significant than others, but each one has changed how I live my life in powerful way. I’d love to hear if and how any of these same lessons have surfaced in the classroom of Your Life.
Time really does heal. So give Time time.
Time doesn’t always fix, reconcile, make.life.exactly.like.i’d.prefer, but it does heal . Sometimes the healing happens in a huge way. Sometimes it’s more subtle – simply giving me enough strength to put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes it’s segmented – my heart heals just enough to give my brain a chance to accept the situation.
Many years ago, when my body was first diagnosed with MS, Tom built me a 12″x12″ plain box. I turned it into my Official Pity Party Box. I decorated the outside and filled the inside with healing things: a Patsy Cline tape, love letters, my dad’s prayer book, seashells, a a funny hat, paper dolls, bubble wrap (to pop!), etc. When I feel a pity party coming on, I bring out the box – play the Patsy tape and play with what’s inside the box. When the tape is finished – so is the party.
When I can’t change The World to my liking – I give myself (and The World) time.
So much of Life seems to be ruled by time keeping and time keepers. Being a time giver works better for me.
What experiences have you had with time-giving?
Lisa’s Cheap Therapy blog 
Can I add a rhinestone necklace to that box? I find its hard to feel bad when you add some sparkle to your smile! As for time-giving, I am often in a decision making position and when it doesn’t seem like a win-win, I wait, let a little time go by and that seems to do the trick, better things happen when I am patient.
I love your box idea. I want one! Of course it will include a patch of cuddly fabric for my fingers. But seriously, I have for a long time made use of the technique of setting aside time to feel my bad feelings–an hour maximum. I used to use my commuting time when I was back in DC to feel sad in–sometimes I would arrive at work in tears. But then I’d ‘turn off the windshield wipers’ park the car and go in to work with a better attitude. I’m not sure that the car was the best place, but back then it was the ONLY private place. Ok, I’m making me a box this week!
My pity parties are emotionalIy, rather than physically, inspired…often most frustrating because I can’t find a valid reason for them! I am prone to do the old curl up in a fetal pose in bed thing, but eventually, someone is hungry (sometimes even me!) or needs to “go out” (dog, cat, maybe my husband…), and I realize I can’t lie there forever. Laura Nyro’s voice sings through my head, “Time and love, everybody, time and love; nothing cures like time and love…” and so I just keep on keepin’ on. (And then, I guess, being a giver of my time to others helps to kick myself out of the blue room in my head!)
Excellent post, Lisa. One of your best. And hey, don’t forget the Transmogrifier! That changes everything!
This is definitely an area in which I need to grow. Most definitely have to create my own pity party box. Great idea … thanks for sharing!
Love this, Lisa! I remember you telling me about the Pity Party Box. I still think its a great idea, and I have shared it with clients and thought about it myself. Usually with the emphasis on allowing the uncomfortable feelings, but not getting stuck in them. I very much resonate with Mary Louise in that my down times tend to be emotional rather than physical, and usually get played out in bed with the covers drawn way up high. If I can lure a dog in to bed with me (usually not too difficult) it can feel like heaven. I also agree that dogs or a husband (usually mine…ok always mine) are usually the ones to pull me out of bed and remind me that after a little while, wallowing does Not feel as good as getting moving and doing SOMETHING. Often laundry. If I can make it all the way outside I am usually feeling much better in a minute. So thank you for the reminder that feeling bad is inevitable and allowed, but its best kept to short-ish periods if time.
What a wonderful idea, you are such an inspiration to me! How you make me feel so wonderful. I admire you so, keep up the good work. God bless you.
CC rider in Fayetteville
Janet ~ as i’ve already told you more privately (and publicly ;)) that necklace is a treasure. THANKS! hope you don’t mind that i don’t wear it ONLY for pity parties. thanks, for helping us sty focused on the win-win … AMEN!;
Penny ~ yep, making your own pit party box is MUCH safer than driving one ;);
Mary Louise ~ maybe it’s Time for me to switch my Patsy Cline tape to Laura Nyro? could be – thanks! i can relate to your curl-up mode along with you’re keep on… mantra (note THIS Sunday’s blog:)). thanks for that (and much more), too;
Tom ~ ahhhhhhhhhh – the Transmogrifier! no way i could forget THAT:);
Judi ~ hope your pity party box is as good To You as mine’s been To Me;
Janet ~ i can completely agree with the dogs, husband (or Partner Tom, in my case ;)) and getting outside, but laundry? not.so.much ;);
Corrine ~ everyone in this ‘blog community’ inspires me. God bless you, too;
AGAIN, huge THANKS to all who’ve joined in here and more privately.