As I’ve mentioned here before, one of the richest memories of my life is how I used to get up at 5:30 in the morning with my dad. It was our time. We’d eat GrapeNuts and tell each other about the miracle(s) we’d seen the day before. I still try to like GrapeNuts and I still try to look for miracles every day.
Finding the miracles has been harder for me lately. I might notice (my word for 2015) lovely people, places, or things, but I’ve allowed circumstances, over which I feel powerless, to cloud my ability to recognize them as miracles. That’s gotta change.
Here’s how I’m going to change it. Yes/And. I completely accept the reality that YES there are many things going on the world, over which I have no control. AND while I continue to attend to what I can, I’m going to focus on the light, the good, the possible, along with the people doing the light, good, and possible.
YES, the divisions, gloom, fear, and darkness will still be around. My focus, however, will not be as glued to it, as it has been lately. I’m going to focus on the power of miracles. When I find myself tempted to dwell in the negative longer than is necessary, I’m going to seek out AND people, places, and things. AND people, places and things are the miracles Daddy and I used to share with each other daily. I’ll share some of them with you here.
Years ago, a dear friend, Amanda, gave me a pencil holder with ‘Organized people are just too lazy to look for things’ written on it. She knows me well. Organized is NOT my middle name. And lately, it’s not even been in my vocabulary. Since we moved Mom into the hospice house, in mid April, my guest room has been full of things my family helped me move from her former assisted living apartment. The door to that room has been closed since then. There are all kinds of reasons I haven’t organized that room. I don’t even have to play a psychologist on TV to realize that.
The door is open now. Earlier this week I just plain did it. Is the room perfectly organized? No. Does it feel fabulous to stop hiding the imperfection? YES.
Opening that door opened my heart and spirit. And it encouraged me to take a few other organizational steps this weekend. Tom helped me install new garbage/recycle containers and I finally culled through old spices, putting them in a more convenient storage space. It’s also helped me realize that all of the other spaces in my home that need to be better organized will get that way.
Overwhelmed and powerless are great feelings to let go of.
Yes, (as Robert Frost us) there are miles to go AND at least, now, I can sleep.
Ever feel like that?