parenting our parents ~ chapter 3

HUGE thanks to all of you who’ve joined in this conversation, either here or more privately, since my last post.   It’s beyond humbling and so helpful to know so many of us are traveling together on this Next Right Step path with a parent.  As I write this morning, Mom is safely settled in an Assisted Living apartment and her former home is now ready for a new resident.  Mom is safe and mostly content. This crisis has passed.

put on your air mask firstI’m sure there will be another crisis.  And I’m sure I’ll soon need to face the seeds of guilt and fear that I often feel germinating. However, I’m choosing to focus on the wisdom of my friend Rodney, when he says, “You’re thinking about the wrong day, darlin’!”  So this morning, this moment, I’m going to focus on what I’ve been learning from the process of making The Assisted Living Choice.  I’d LOVE to know what you’re learning, too!

Here are my Top 12 (so far):

1. Even when it’s absolutely The Right Next Step, it’s still hard.

2. Take care of yourself.

3. Try to not get so caught-up in The Details that you forget to pay attention to the person you’re moving.  If it’s tough on you, just imagine how they feel.

4. Take care of yourself.

5. Don’t worry about nourishing any seeds of guilt you’re feeling.  They’ll feed themselves.  (more on this in my next post ;))

6. Take care of yourself.

7.  When friends, who’ve traveled This Path before you, offer to listen or extend advice/help – ACCEPT!

8. Take care of yourself.

9. Not all Assisted Living Facilities are equal.  So don’t just trust online reviews or sales pitches from a Facility’s Marketing Rep.  Ask residents.  Ask residents’ families.  Ask the facility’s front-line employees.

10. Take care of yourself.

11. If you have your parent’s Power of Attorney, be sure it’s registered with the local clerk of court or register of deeds (depending on where you live) and on record with any place (eg. banks, insurance companies, etc) you’d need to use it

12. Take care of yourself.

What are some of your Top Lessons?